Just a little patience.

I’m afraid this entry is going to be a little more serious than I like to be. But I’m trying to understand something. Why this ache in my heart? I have everything I need. I have an excellent job, the perfect companion, and my favorite books and magazines all over the place. I have contact with the entire world at my fingertips through a high-speed internet connection and plenty of free time to use it. I should have no excuse to be discontented. The answer comes as I take up Wordsworth’s “Ode on Intimations of Immortality” and read a few lines. The answer is not in the poem.


The answer is in the crash of the sea in my head. It’s in the wind moaning through the naked tree tops as the dawn moves over the world. That’s where my mind goes when the words on the page fail to reach me. My spirit is visiting the Old Ones sitting calmly in their dimension watching our struggling after air and food, our longing for light and sex, and our collapsing for want of rest. They smile. They see everything in positive light.

My spirit is also trying drag my body out into woods for a long walk with the spirits. But even if I could get away from work, it’s still too cold right now even for my half-crazy ass to play around out there. The spirit is kind of like a dog that wants to go out for a walk. It can stand the cold much better than the human flesh and would drag us out on a leash to be killed by Mother Nature if it were not governed by us reasoning animals.

I know warmer wind currents are heading our way even as I write this. It’s a guarantee that Tessa will call one of her other employees and grab me by the back of my underwear and toss me out the front door in the next 48 to 72 hours. I look forward to that. I know a couple of dogs who look forward to it, too. Until then, I have patience. And I have the Old Ones just sitting and smiling, teaching about patience.